If you're a poor African country, this is the teller's window for aid from Canada - closed. Firmly. Same deal if you're looking for Canada's intellectual, policy, and financial commitments to countering global warming. Gotta love the nitwits in the Conservative party.

As everyone knows by now, one of the wonderful things about the Web and blogging is that, unlike writers for conventional (and necessary) media, bloggers can say pretty much whatever they want. We're not obliged to pacify editors, owners, or advertisers. So, the following...

Here in the Great White North, a cretin is currently Prime Minister. Now, everybody knows this, including even writers for The National Post (Canada's paper of the neo-conservative right). Yes, even they are calling, in polite terms, Stephen "The Smirk That Would Be King" Harper a cretin. They're kind of forced to, really. After all, anyone who can't figure out 34% < 50% < 50%+ has to be stupid, right? And unfit to govern, right? Right. It must be driving them mad.

For all you folks not citizens of the Great White North, this is our current Big Story. We have, at the moment, a Prime Minister who is an incompetent Bush-wannabe (Sorry. I realize I'm being redundant, and that the terms are synonymous - "Bush", "incompetent", but...) and unfit to govern. He seems to have forgotten that less than 35% of Canadians actually want him to lead the country, that the remaining 65% wanted someone else, and insists that he has "the power". That he would use that term - "power" - rather than "privilege" - instantly demonstrates his lack of understanding of the democratic process. The power lies with the voters, the citizens of the country, not the person they elect. We give people the responsibility, the honour, the privilege of governing. We also have the power to revoke that privilege. Smirkin' Steve has proven that he doesn't deserve it.

The good thing in this story is Ms. Jean's actions. Much as I would love to see The Smirk booted back to the Lone Prairie from which he comes, where he'd be forced to indulge in daily rounds of self-flagellation, she's actually done the right thing. Her job (or the job of whoever is Governor General at any given time) is to act as a buffer, someone who will prevent extreme swings in the governance of the country, someone who will act in such a way as to allow time for reflection on the part of those who (supposedly) govern.

And then, come January, we can send Smirk packin', 'cause you can bet he won't learn a thing from what anyone with an ounce of intelligence would take as a huge self-inflicted humiliation.

How can that kid run in those heels?

Maybe she feels Smirkin' Steve and his Cretinous Party breathing down her neck. I'm sooooooooo depressed. Not to mention embarrassed. This is the guy who wants to put 14-year-olds in jail for life, tax the poor and give to the rich, privatise healthcare, make abortion illegal...and yet, my fellow Canadians are re-electing him! Granted, in typical Canadian fashion, the cause for celebration is, um, dubious. But still...

Please America! Elect Obama! Please don't force me to turn to heavy drinking and Prozac!

Say...speaking of heavy drinking...I was in my local wine emporium this evening, picking up a couple of bottles, and overheard a woman grilling one of the clerks on which beers had preservatives in them. Now, I could be wrong, but I'm guessing that she was worried about the potential health effects of said nasty preservatives. It was all I could do not to wander up to her and point out that a) alcohol, a key ingredient in beer, is a preservative, b) it's also a sterilizing agent, and c) it's a poison! What could anyone possibly add to that? God, I love stupid people!

We're baa-aa-ck.

So, the file name for this shot is "wake up". Darned appropriate in this election season, wouldn't you say? To begin...

Americans - any of you thinking even slightly of voting for John McBush - wake the fuck up! Your country, thanks to Bush and his fellow Republican cretins, is in the toilet. Monetarily, morally, and any other way you want to look at it. These creeps have gotten as close to destroying your country as it's possible to get without actually doing it. And, trust me, the data's not all in yet on that - it's just possible that they have, in fact, destroyed America. Worried about Osama? Get a grip. He's got nothing on these weasels.

Meanwhile, here in Canada, my home and native land, the situation's almost as dire. People are actually thinking about voting Ref......er.....Canadian Allia......damn!....Conservative. Talk about cretins! These doofuses can't even come up with a creepy plan of their own - they have to imitate Republicans. Life sentences for 14 year olds! Who's dimwit idea was that? Global warming isn't real! Yep, they've got the finest "scientific" minds available working for them. And I particularly love this! The party has realized that their own leader is such a vile slug that they're advising him to shut up totally between now and the election. Yep, that's what you want in a nation's leader - a guy too stupid, or slimey, or whatever it is his own party thinks is his problem, to allow him to speak in public.

Golly, I feel much better being back at this.

O.K., America, time to save Canada. Well, one Canadian, at least. Now, you may think this odd, but our Prime Minister called an election this past Sunday, and it's going to happen before your Presidential election (Yep. One of the strengths of our system is that we don't have to listen to a year or more of crap from politicians before we're forced to vote for one of them.). The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure my fellow Canadians will elect the Smirk-Who-Would-Be-Bush and his odious Ref....er...Canadian Allia.....um, er,....Conservative party to a majority. When that happens, I'm going to go out and buy a crate of the finest scotch I can afford and drink myself senseless. How, you ask, can America help? Please - oh, have mercy! - please don't elect John McBush president when you finally, after months of agony, get to vote. I'm begging you.

And, speaking of back alleys, our own Smirkin' Steve ("I Wanna Be Dumbya!") Harper's been at it again, this time getting hold of the tax returns of judges he doesn't like in order to intimidate them during salary negotiations. And personal tax returns became public when?

O.K., first of all, there's somebody in (or near) Lincoln, Nebraska with too much time on their hands. 79 hits today, pretty much all from there. Weird. But, not to seem ungrateful, glad you came by! I hope you enjoyed the visit.

Meanwhile, over on the Right Wing Nut fringe, there's this story out of Louisiana. Riiiiight. I'm sure McBush will want to hook up with a Creationist lunatic for VP. Although, given McBush's current fear-mongering (a tried and true Republican tactic, after all - "The sky isn't falling - it's trying to kill you!"), who knows?

I'd pick on Harper, but he's even more hapless than McBush. "He's innocent, I tell ya!", "Oh. No. Wait. He's guilty. But, he's resigned." "Oh, the biker babe? A security threat? What?" I'm waiting for him to quote the world famous Sgt. Schultz: "I know nothing! No-thing!" Which, of course, wouldn't be all that far off the mark.

The key word here is "Notice". Now, it's easy to poke fun at American politics - people are going without proper medical care and the big news there is whether or not the Democrats' presidential candidates are sufficiently "in touch" with their religion. What I can't figure out is why no one's asked them how they feel about Santa Claus. At least he delivers!

But, up here in the Great White North, things are just as bad. Following the Bushian example, our own Smirkin' Steve is doing his damnedest to dodge questions of human rights. Are all conservatives moral cretins? Or is it just these guys?

Charming spring flowers. Flowers, as I'm sure you know, are all about sex. Something that, luckily the Harper government is unaware of. I'm sure that if they knew, Agent Orange would be falling from the sky, rather than spring showers.

Yeah, and you all thought I lived in some quiet West Coast town with nothing much happening.

Meanwhile, Hillary seems to have bounced back. With, maybe, a little help (ill-intended, I'm sure) from someone else's friends. Of course, we all believe Smirkin' Steve's denials. Just like we believe he didn't try to bribe a soon-to-be-dead MP with a million dollar life insurance policy. The Smirk?!? Do something so heinous?!? Naaaaahhhhhh........

Isn't life exciting?

Hmmmm, a new home for Smirkin' Steve? He's really shown that Canada is a major player on the world stage, that's for sure. Yep, our government, along with the Bush administration, is a major leader in the fight to avoid facing the reality of climate change. We were leading the way with Bush and John Howard's Australia, but, well, the Australians gave Mr. Howard the boot, along with his policies. As you might imagine, my fingers are crossed that my fellow Canadians will show the Smirk the door, too, when given the opportunity.

Phew! Managed to retrieve the original format.

As to the photo - well, the food supplies may have been sunny, but the day wasn't. From the looks of things, Sunny Food Supply Ltd. wasn't all that sunny in the end either.

But, moving on to politics....Our Fearsome Leader, Smirkin' Stevie Harper is doing us proud over in Bali. Yep, anything he can do to block any kind of change for the better, he's your man.

Ah, at last I can stop relying on Dumbya for stupidity and get my supply locally. Well, from Ottawa, at least. Not exactly "local" for someone who lives on the west coast, but... Yep, Smirkin' Steve and His Sons of the Stupid have decided to persecute the already persecuted. To pick on the lowest of the low, the junkies. Canada is about to "get tough on drugs". Oh, boy. And, on the off chance that you missed this little extra bit of moronic irony, who's announcing our new national intent to pick on the sick? Our justice minister, Bouncing Bob Nicholson? Nope. How about our minister for foreign affairs, the ever-popular Pusillanimous Pete Mackay, who might at least have the excuse of kow-towing to Dumbya? Nope. Come on, think. This is the Ref..., er, Canadian Al....., oops, the Conservative party, remember? So, who would you least expect to announce a crackdown on some of Canada's most unfortunate, least healthy citizens? Yep - our health minister, Tony (The Enforcer) Clement. "How dare these people be sick on my watch?!? How dare these people pick an addiction not sanctioned by billions of dollars of advertising (and kickbacks to, um....well, you know who) from the alcohol and tobacco industries? I'll show these swine!" Go, Tony, go. I mean it. As far away from here as you can possibly get. Please. I'll buy your ticket. Just name a destination and promise never to come back.

It's just so humiliating to think that this guy is helping ru(i)n my country.